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08:39pm 02/11/2011
  Epic fail. After the wii sensor bar fiasco, I didn't even try. It was my birthday, and Halloween. And I started eating meat again. Serious F-AIL. No chicken tho... Anyway, its Nov. 2nd and I had made a promise to myself to GET REAL. And I didn't. I did really poorly today. Tomorrow is a new day, and I want to start it off right. I will keep trying!


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stupid.   
12:46am 14/10/2011
  If I write about how guilty I feel for not trying harder, and of my mistakes maybe it will make me not make thenm so much? I had 6 cigarettes today. I also bought an electronic one to help. At lunch, I made multiple mistakes. 1, artichoke dip. 2, bread basket. 3, two bud lights. And 4. A lobster caesar salad covered in dressing. These were all really bad choices, but it can be hard to make good ones when you're out and with friends. I need to get back in the habit of eating healthy just being a part of my lifestyle. I'm SUPER MAD about my sensor bar. I'll have to buy a new one online tomorrow. FUCK. Not to mention the bottle of wine I had for dinner and 2 slices of pizza. I am really worthless. That sounds like I didn't even try AT ALL. What is wrong with me? And then my stupid crush on a jerk boy isn't going very well, and I can't get over him, no matter how hard I'm trying. So. Basically, I'm in shambles, when last night I had a bunch of hopes and dreams. And money. Why did I spend so much money today? I don't even want to have a party anymore. I don't like anyone...... Anyone. Just my super close friends, and Ian. I don't feel like pretending with other people anymore. I'm in a bad mood and I needed to vent.... So.... This stupid online journal helps. I don't know why. I promise, tomorrow I will smoke less than 5 cigarettes, and eat better. Just eat BETTER! Its not that HARD! What's wrong with me?!? :(


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being tested.   
01:49pm 13/10/2011
  Today I got on my wii fit to do my firs day of exercise, and my sensor bar is broken. I'm out to lunch now, not making good choices, yet again. I will try harder later. I did get a salad tho.


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vows   
10:36pm 12/10/2011
  I weigh 198 lbs right now. I was planning on getting myself a new tattoo for my birthday, but, instead, I am going to get myself a gym membership. If I can get myself down to 178 lbs, only then will I reward myself with said tattoo. Obviously, this is not possible by my birthday, unless I have surgery (LOLZ) but realistically, I can do this in 10 weeks or less. So for Christmas. That is the goal. It is set. Weight Watchers & exercise NOW. GO!


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here we go again   
10:32pm 12/10/2011
  Its time... to motherfucking make some changes. And to document my journey. On the INTERNET.


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new ink ! finally.   
10:09pm 21/07/2008
   
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